Thursday, April 12, 2012

For God's Sake People, Be Careful Out There!

With hunting season now long over, many of us are now venturing off to our local streams with fly rod in hand in search of some wild trout.  I caution those who are, beware of poison oak!  Recently I learned that my fishing buddy Tuck has been infected.  Infected so bad that he had to go to the emergency room.  The contamination spread throughout his body including his cock and balls.  Yup.  You heard me.  ON HIS JUNK!  When Chul first notified me that Tuck had suffered this horrible fate, my first reaction was, like any good fishing buddy's would be, not of empathy or pity, but to laugh my ass off.  Laughed so hard I nearly peed myself.  Yes.  I am that kind of "buddy."  The type that laughs at a friend's misfortune.  I think that type of person is what is commonly referred to as a "Douche."  In my defense Chul too was laughing his ass off when he told me.  So I guess he's a douche too.

It has been a few weeks now since Tuck and I have fished together and it was then where he was infected.  His roommate Tyson who joined us that day surprisingly went unharmed.  This is rather odd since the majority of the time Tuck was beside Tyson because he was teaching him to fly fish.  Tuck is now recovering and has let me know that he'll most likely be close to 100% within a week.  I personally have never had the misfortune of any type of burning sensation, rashing or blistering on or near my junk, and god willing never will, so I can't possibly imagine how excruciatingly painful it must be.  I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies (well maybe some antis or PETA members), let alone one of my friends.

Heel up buddy.  You poor bastard.  You poor itchy-crotch-on-fire bastard.  At least you have another story...A good one too!

And Tuck I hope you aren't upset I posted this story, don't worry no one reads this crappy blog anyway.  Although I have not known you for long, I do know you won't care because you are good humored but if you do, I don't care.  Afterall I'm a douche, remember?  If one good thing has come about from this, at least the skanks of the San Diego bar scene are safe...temporarily...until Tuck heels.

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